Saturday, August 26, 2006
deleted my two previous posts.
people did'nt really welcome it. that's why.
For heaven's sake! I'm not sacking Cheong Khi lah. alamak..
i just meant that i want to get her a CAPABLE assistant section leader lah. tsktsk.
you people arhh..
anyway.
priscilia says that i'm arrogant. lol. i know dear.
i know i am not the person i used to be last time.
& i have been hating myself for it.
seriously.
i myself am not sure how i managed to change so DRASTICALLY.
i guess someway or somehow, under so much pressure, i've been moulded into someone
I MYSELF DESPISE.
i hate to scold.
i hate to do the all-so-tidious chase for late-comers.
i hate to conduct punishments so late after band practice. ( i want to go home too!)
i hate being scolded by the conductors.
& lastly..
i hate to be hated.
but i have no choice.
i must get what i promised.
i want the gold so so so so so badly.
only god knows how badly i want it. ) :
BUT i've said it a MILLION times.
i cannot lead with the attitude i have last time.
i crack LAME jokes, talk A LOT during band practices, report late & than come up with
super lame excuses ( like stuck in a lift or something.. ) slack during sustain notes
blah blah blah...
you sure you want me to lead with the attitude i have last time?
mr chew and mr masree wants discipline.
& i have to help alvin to work on it.
i cannot be asking the band to be discipline but at the same time im a total mess myself.
but nehh...
its alright. you dont seem to understand.
about punishments? nehh. i am not going to compromise it. really sorry dear.
we ( me & the rest of the excos ) cannot afford to lose composure.
& yeah. you're right.
i am to be blamed for the band's poor performance. ) :
i never make an effort to do something.
i never make an afford to give the band exposure.
the playing on tuesday morning ( instant concert ) was just an embarrasment.
i never make an effort to build up the band's spirit.
all those movie days & previous band outings are all crap.
sorry dear. real sorry.
yes i realised it now. i am to be blamed.
& i blame NO ONE but filthy self. )):
also.
'sry i cried after the performance.
i cried because i dont know what went wrong.
i cried because i know that ctwinds is capable of SO much better.
that was definately NOT HER STANDARD!
i cried because i conducted the band on the same day & the band sounded 10 times better.
i cried because i have let the conductors down.
i am sorry that you felt that i was purposely attracting attention.
THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION.
i wrote it on my blog cause www.icysmiless.blogspot.com
IS my online diary.
i write what i feel.
sorry you felt that i was making the teachers worry & i am just plain arrogant.
dont worry. i've deleted it. (:
nevermind. im gone for one week for the OBS traning camp.
need to forget band for sometime too.
have fun while im gone. i know you would.
people did'nt really welcome it. that's why.
For heaven's sake! I'm not sacking Cheong Khi lah. alamak..
i just meant that i want to get her a CAPABLE assistant section leader lah. tsktsk.
you people arhh..
anyway.
priscilia says that i'm arrogant. lol. i know dear.
i know i am not the person i used to be last time.
& i have been hating myself for it.
seriously.
i myself am not sure how i managed to change so DRASTICALLY.
i guess someway or somehow, under so much pressure, i've been moulded into someone
I MYSELF DESPISE.
i hate to scold.
i hate to do the all-so-tidious chase for late-comers.
i hate to conduct punishments so late after band practice. ( i want to go home too!)
i hate being scolded by the conductors.
& lastly..
i hate to be hated.
but i have no choice.
i must get what i promised.
i want the gold so so so so so badly.
only god knows how badly i want it. ) :
BUT i've said it a MILLION times.
i cannot lead with the attitude i have last time.
i crack LAME jokes, talk A LOT during band practices, report late & than come up with
super lame excuses ( like stuck in a lift or something.. ) slack during sustain notes
blah blah blah...
you sure you want me to lead with the attitude i have last time?
mr chew and mr masree wants discipline.
& i have to help alvin to work on it.
i cannot be asking the band to be discipline but at the same time im a total mess myself.
but nehh...
its alright. you dont seem to understand.
about punishments? nehh. i am not going to compromise it. really sorry dear.
we ( me & the rest of the excos ) cannot afford to lose composure.
& yeah. you're right.
i am to be blamed for the band's poor performance. ) :
i never make an effort to do something.
i never make an afford to give the band exposure.
the playing on tuesday morning ( instant concert ) was just an embarrasment.
i never make an effort to build up the band's spirit.
all those movie days & previous band outings are all crap.
sorry dear. real sorry.
yes i realised it now. i am to be blamed.
& i blame NO ONE but filthy self. )):
also.
'sry i cried after the performance.
i cried because i dont know what went wrong.
i cried because i know that ctwinds is capable of SO much better.
that was definately NOT HER STANDARD!
i cried because i conducted the band on the same day & the band sounded 10 times better.
i cried because i have let the conductors down.
i am sorry that you felt that i was purposely attracting attention.
THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION.
i wrote it on my blog cause www.icysmiless.blogspot.com
IS my online diary.
i write what i feel.
sorry you felt that i was making the teachers worry & i am just plain arrogant.
dont worry. i've deleted it. (:
nevermind. im gone for one week for the OBS traning camp.
need to forget band for sometime too.
have fun while im gone. i know you would.
GDGDBABYBABY ❤, Saturday, August 26, 2006.
